I'm Sick

No matter what the outcome of this is, I know that God only plans to make me stronger and closer to him. His will reaches far beyond my mir human questions like, "why now" or "why me." He has given me a love of my life and a family that could never be compared with. My questions aren't for me. It's for them. Do you ever feel like things seem to be the most difficult when life is already scattered with pot holes and road kill?

Perhaps our lives aren't the thing we should be thinking about.

It is after all just a body, on a rock floating in a perfect a black canvas of night that we call "space". We aren't here to make a name for our selves, God Gave us a name to remember (Jesus). Some how that famed death wasn't enough for us to pay soul attention too. This may not be true for everybody, but it is for me most of the time. I'm still working hard on what my life can look like when I take my life out of the picture.

Give me your thoughts.

Definition: Life

Day after day life can feel compiled of more than what one person can bare to handle on their own. Simple things like work, volunteering, love and not to mention our own world of thoughts that come in rouge waves that blow and punch our mind in all directions. Is there a time to throw in the towel? Every day...?

Every part of our lives are supposed to be surrendered to the lord every day of our lives. Most human minds can't comprehend this concept. I struggle with it constantly. Life is a word that symbolizes (to most) as: A time we spend here on earth. But, "Life" means so much more. "Life" should not be confused with "the living." Earth is an amazing creation, and life on earth is another astonishing feat, yet our minds are earthbound minds. Our mind's destination has a habit of completing its journey at the death of a body. This is where surrendering our hearts and minds really comes into play.

Letting go of something is easy to say, but defines us as a "surprise victim" when faced with having to truly let go. Life can mean so much more if we let someone else take the wheel. Surrendering is letting go of the wheel. Giving up the control that we have. The truth is, we never had control in the first place.

What does "life" mean to you now? Is life simply defined as beginning=birth and end=death?

Musicians at Church?

Have you ever wondered what your church guitarist is actually thinking up there when he is playing the music? It's funny to me that I never asked myself that question! At least, not until I started playing music for Grace Community Church. I often like to remind people that when we are on stage, we are singing the exact same song that they are. It may be our third time that day, but it still holds the same message in our minds.
The other day while I was at work, a woman passed me and said "good job at church!" I sometimes struggle with what kind of response I am supposed to project when this compliment comes about? Hard question! That question also opens a window in my mind that helps me push myself into answering the question for both, my mind, and for God. Of course I'm flattered that the woman enjoyed the music on Sunday, but I still can't take credit for the talent and the music that God creates in my life, and allows to flow into others' lives. There have been several times that I've hoped for an extra moment with people to share how I, as a musician, honestly feel about taking personal compliments on the music that is produced on Sunday mornings.
I always like to know that the the Holy Spirit moved in people during the music. (It's what drives me to wake up at 4:30 am and spend 8 hours at church helping to create the same music 3 times over) Instead of "good job", next time you want to compliment your church band, just let them know that they assisted an environment that truly allowed your heart to be open for the Holy Spirit to do his work. Understanding that point alone takes a lot of time for someone to comprehend. Just remember that we are worshiping too. We are hoping for that environment to "appear" just as much as you are. We want to sing!!! And play... of course.
It's hard for me to think of the right words to say to our pastors when I think that they do an amazing job, but it's something to think about. Who deserves that credit? And even more so, what is the right way to show appreciation for a job well done to the people that help it happen?

Time is...

Time is sometimes cruel. Sometimes it's just one more thing to try to work around. Some how we try to allow time to navigate it's way around our lives, when the truth is, time will win every time.

Its hard to bite the bullet on this one. We try so hard to make time our own. It becomes the burden of what we live for. Never enough. Never at the right moment. Never in favor of what we had planned. We sometimes forget that time is such a precious gift. Time may take a lot from us, but it also gives us every moment we remember.
I only say this because I have fought time so many times before. I'm not trying to move around the subject. I have fought and lost to the point that I feel that this small Blog may help those who choose to fight a clock. I know that life can demand so much. Not to mention what we sometimes want to "add in" for our own hearts. Time management is something that I have tried to practice. I can't manage it. Not one second. It's not mine to manage, nor is it governed by the many scientist that have built a system for which we tell time. A clock can not define time. Clocks can give us a name for which part of time we need to set aside for future plans, but it still isn't the definition of time. Time is a gift. If i had to define "time" as a word, I would simply say: Time - a speed that can not move faster or slower than it has ever, or ever will travel.
Understand that time is considered the 4th dimension for a reason. It's not explained. It exist. And of all the gifts in the world that we, as life holders, put as a harmful priority, just remember that it is one of the most precious gifts that we can give. Because it is given to us first by God. It is only our job to embrace it and allow it to move as it always has. Slow sometimes, but steady always. Fast at times, but forgiving at others. Share time. We all have to live with it at the same time, for the rest of our lives. Sorry if this took too long to read, but thanks for sharing your time with me.

Push for Light

Push, Push, Push!

Light hides in all sorts of cracks and crevices, but that doesn't mean that it is hiding from us or from Gods glory.  But the more I think about it, sometimes the light is an open flame that can push or pull our emotions and periodically allow our selves to put on the blinders and miss the light without ever seeing it right beside us.  God has many ways of showing his light and it's sometimes hard to comprehend what it is that God wants us to understand.  But tilting our heads away from the direction we know is rocky, curvy, dark, dreary, and sometimes downright frightening will never fulfill our potential as followers of Christ.  It will work to take the safe path, and usually to an extent that we as humans may not search for any other way.  But I only encourage you to Push.

Many times we can find our selves consumed with pride or with concerns that we never mean to intentionally create for our hearts or our lives.  But understanding the root of the power that tags along side of those feelings is only compared to a tiny flash light that we keep locked to our key chain to see the locked door in front of us.

Have you ever been pulled over?  The red and blue lights are enough to keep our hearts beating at a pace that pushes sweat from every pore of our bodies.  Not a pleasant feeling at all.  But what about when that mounted driver side spotlight hits our face from the reflection of our left mirror?  That's when the feeling really sinks in.  The police are very thorough of the was to collect the information and approach the vehicle.  They have been trained for years on the proper way to keep the other driver "at bay" if you will.  The shadow approaches and a concerned yet authoritative voice announces the violation and directions to follow. 

If only life were that easy.

A clear voice                                                               

                           Directions                 

                  intent

understanding

                       The clear understanding of what was wrong with the moment.

All of these things can come.  In the book of Job we see how important it is to truly lay down our hearts and let God's interpretation  be revealed with patience and obedience.  Two of the things I struggle with many times over.  But I must push on.  We can push on in the proper ways and know that our small flashlights will do there jobs of lighting up the locked door.  But don't fear God's driver side mounted spotlight.  It is there for a reason.  Is it for us to understand immediately?  That question is one that will linger for years and years in my mind.  But i know that patience is a virtue and is rewarded greatly over time.

Lights can hide in all of the holes we forget to look in.  But push on.  Seek the direction that is given to us directly from Jesus in James 5 and 6.  It is one of the hardest books to swallow, but is very clear with a voice that is given as a direct quote from our savior of life and love.  He only meant the best with his words and works, and I know that he always keeps the flood lights ready for us in the moment that will make clear what it is we try to understand.  

As always, my words are only here as a reflection of my knowledge in my life and of the lives that have defined my own.  Feedback is always welcomed.  

Welcome to the First step of my blogging career and thank you for your time.  I hope that my words are clear to your mind and are reflective of Gods works in my life.  At the same time, this is a blog that can serve as advice, or just as a gentle "mind push"  for a smooth afternoon read.  But remember to Push.  Push for light.  And you will find it.  I have faith in you.  Just as God has Faith in all of us.